Couples get in trouble when they try to convince or persuade their partner of their point of view. This mindset sets up a debate in...
10.092025September 10, 2025
What Would Work For Me…
When I observe couples interacting in counseling, one of my favorite statements is, “What would work for me…” What I love about this statement is...
24.062025April 29, 2025
Direct Dialogue
A measure of success in couples counseling is a couple’s ability to talk directly to each other about their relationship. This is what differentiates successful...
17.062025April 29, 2025
You Blew It
I have a couple who is close to finishing counseling. I saw them five months ago, and they shared their progress since their last session....
10.062025April 29, 2025
I Didn’t Intend
When Dave says something inappropriate, he tends to respond, “I didn’t intend to hurt you.” For example, when Dave said to his wife, “You don’t...
03.062025April 29, 2025
In Your Space
Some couples are so reactive that when they talk directly to each other in couples counseling, they escalate quickly. Their patterns are so ingrained that...
27.052025April 29, 2025
I Expect
Expectations can be detrimental to a relationship. They are typically imposed thoughts of how a partner should behave, such as “I expect you to….” Expectations...
20.052025April 28, 2025
Harmonious Differences
Differences don’t need to be problematic in relationships, since all relationships have differences. The issue is how couples manage these differences. Ideally, couples have respectful...
13.052025April 28, 2025
Measured Response
The husband of one of my couples talked about having a measured response. This was a great description of what individuals try to achieve in...
06.052025March 25, 2025
Damaged?
Phil told me that he and Elyse had a damaged relationship. At home, the language was inflammatory, and conversations were futile. In couples counseling, they...