In a couples counseling session, the husband said, “I’d feel more positive if I didn’t need to put my armor on.” I was struck by...
Archive for tag: Attacks
Read the Room
Jack and Eileen were arguing at home when Jack attacked Eileen, Eileen reacted, and Jack said, “Let’s end this.” When they processed this interaction in...
Under the Influence
When a couple has a partner who struggles with alcohol use, many spouses tend to attack the struggling partner. When the struggling spouse feels attacked,...
Zero To One Hundred—Part 1
Escalation often begins with an attack. Regardless of how strong someone’s self-esteem is, individuals don’t want to be attacked. When someone is attacked, the tendency...
The Power of Negativity
Research shows that negativity is twenty times more powerful than positivity. It’s hard to be positive and emotionally close with a partner when negativity and...
Attacking Vulnerabilities
John & Dana disconnected over the years. In our marriage counseling session, John shared that he was seeing a therapist individually for years. Dana was...
Artillery and Bombs
Relationships can become battlefields. Criticism is launched horizontally. A partner intentionally or unintentionally attacks. When one is attacked, the recipient defends him or herself, and...