If couples can have healthy conversations, they can resolve most relationship issues. Healthy conversations are respectful and responsive, and healthy relationships require skills. One essential...
Archive for tag: Criticism
Of Course
Tim and Kate were scrambling in the middle of the night when their son vomited in his bed. Kate went to their son’s bedroom to...
Impact Statements
When conversations get off track, skilled couples can bring them back. A couple does this by giving effective feedback and having their partner be responsive...
Benefit of the Doubt
The husband of a couple I see wants his wife to give him the benefit of the doubt. The husband has good intentions and doesn’t...
What Would Work For Me…
When I observe couples interacting in counseling, one of my favorite statements is, “What would work for me…” What I love about this statement is...
You Seem Off
Leah and Robert were on a road trip when Robert started slowing down on the highway, and Leah said, “What’s wrong with you?” Robert heard...
Imposed Perfectionism
Perfectionism is not a problem in itself. If someone holds high standards for themselves, that is their prerogative. However, if they impose those high standards...
Have the Conversation
Last night, I watched a movie, Hope Gap, about a husband who had withdrawn from his wife.Her constant criticism of him led him to retreat....
Into the Future
Criticism erodes relationships. Being mindful that your words are non-critical is a key to success. If your partner reacts or responds defensively to your words,...
Recipe for Disaster
This was the third stint of couples counseling for Rob and Amy. I often felt Rob didn’t want to be in couples counseling but felt...