Ann and Jeff were sitting down for dinner when Jeff took a call from his father. His father was dealing with an urgent situation and...
Archive for tag: Defensiveness
Home » Defensiveness
09.022022February 2, 2022
Staying in Love
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples CounselingTags Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness, Four Horsemen, Respect, Responsiveness, Stonewalling
When you meet the right person, falling in love is easy. Almost all committed relationships have the experience of falling in love. This other worldly...
02.062021September 29, 2021
Guy Talk
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage CounselingTags Being Heard, Defensiveness, Language, Responses
Marianne has an issue with how Doug sometimes talks. He can be crude and occasionally offensive. He works in a prison where language can be...
10.022021December 2, 2020
Repairing Repairs
Repairs are one of the most difficult skills for couples to learn and implement. Repairs are when a conversation begins to go off track but...
27.012021December 2, 2020
Read the Room
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Attacks, Defensiveness
Jack and Eileen were arguing at home when Jack attacked Eileen, Eileen reacted, and Jack said, “Let’s end this.” When they processed this interaction in...
30.092020September 9, 2020
Under the Influence
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Alcohol, Alcoholic, Attacks, Defensiveness
When a couple has a partner who struggles with alcohol use, many spouses tend to attack the struggling partner. When the struggling spouse feels attacked,...
11.122019September 5, 2019
Learning From a Debacle
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Accusations, Defensiveness, Escalation
I hadn’t seen Tim and Maura for a while, but they talked about how much progress they were making. Then Tim brought up a time...
28.112018December 13, 2018
Unconscious
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Comments, Defensiveness, Offended
Tom was shopping with his wife Patty and pulled out his wallet to make a purchase. He saw another guy to his side and said,...
18.102017April 25, 2018
I did. I didn’t
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Defensiveness
“I did.” or “I didn’t.” are often examples of defensiveness. If a partner says you did not do something and the response is “I did.”,...
06.042017January 17, 2017
You Keep Saying It
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Defensiveness, Looping
Looping is when a couple’s conversation goes in circles. It’s when a couple keeps repeating what they are saying over and over again. It typically...
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