If you don’t like what your partner is saying or how they are saying it, many individuals criticize their partner or tell them what they...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Peace, Love, and Understanding
I was working with Wendy and her husband on issues in their marriage when Wendy talked about what she needed from her marriage, “Peace, love,...
Being Seen & Heard
While marriage counseling with Todd and Deb initially focused on Deb’s infidelity, they gradually widened the lens to work on their marriage. Deb spoke of...
Neutrality
If a couple is seeking counseling, one essential quality to look for in a couple’s therapist is neutrality. That is, neither partner feels that the...
Best Thing We’ve Ever Done
Andrea and Mark have been married for four decades and report their relationship was sometimes “horrible.” Andrea resented being emotionally treated like a punching bag....
Master Healthy Communication
Rachel is looking for emotional support from her sometimes dismissive husband, Rob. Rob tended to say, “You’re fine,” when she shared something emotionally upsetting. She...
Parenting Policy
It’s important for couples with children to present a united front. However, how does this get reconciled when parents have different parenting approaches? The key...
Parenting Techniques
Research shows that yelling is not an effective parenting approach. Two parenting techniques that can minimize yelling are whispering and hovering. Parents tend to yell...
Scorecards
Tasks in a relationship don’t have to be equal; they just need to be fair. Scorecards are used when a couple tries to prove they...
Needs & Impact
Erin and Jeff had two young children and were frequently in conflict. Now a stay-at-home mother, Erin expected Jeff to know what she needed. For...
Have the Conversation
Last night, I watched a movie, Hope Gap, about a husband who had withdrawn from his wife.Her constant criticism of him led him to retreat....
No Recourse to Clarity
I was now meeting with Paul and Jessica every 3 months and in their last session, Paul was reflecting on what they were doing differently....