Frequently Asked Questions
The purpose of couples counseling is to work through issues that create relationship conflict or disconnection—with the goal of restoring emotional intimacy. The majority of couples reach a point in their relationship in which they’re unable to work through issues on their own. Relationships typically deteriorate at this point in time without professional intervention.
Couples counseling is designed to disrupt the unsatisfying status quo. Couples learn to work through issues without escalating or disconnecting. They read Dr. Rein’s book, All In the Dialogue, to learn about the skills that successful couples use. Couples use couples counseling sessions to practice and implement these skills.
Eighty percent of therapists do couples counseling but very few are trained in it. The majority of therapists haven’t even taken a course in couples counseling during graduate school. Couples’ counseling training typically comes after graduate school. This means a therapist does enough couples counseling to make the financial and time commitment to a couples counseling training program.
Since most therapists don’t make this investment, they are applying treatment approaches that are typically designed for individuals. Treating a couple is very different than treating an individual.
Dr. Rein trained with Dr. John Gottman at the Gottman Institute in Seattle. Dr. Gottman is considered the top marriage counselor and researcher in the country. Dr. Rein is certified as a Gottman Method Couples Counselor—one of five in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Since he is one of the few therapists in Greater Boston who works exclusively with couples, in addition to practicing for over 30 years, your issues and themes will be quite familiar to him.
ln order to be effective, Dr. Rein needs to have a good understanding of your issues. He will also get an overview of the relationship, and some relationship history and discuss the couple’s counseling goals in the first session.
ln traditional Gottman Method Couples Counseling, the intake process is 4 1/2 hours. This could be 3-6 sessions even before starting the treatment. Dr. Rein finds that couples want to move from assessment/evaluation to treatment as quickly as possible. He finds that he can get the essential information he needs in the first session, and start to address the couple’s issues in the second session.
After the first session, Dr. Rein emails his book that reviews the research on how successful couples communicate with one another. Couples find the information extremely beneficial and often begin to make changes even before their first treatment session. Dr. Rein also sends a form that reviews the couples counseling process-how to prepare for the sessions and guidelines for practicing in between sessions.
ln order to work through issues, it’s best for couples to talk directly to each other in couples counseling. Since Dr. Rein is giving feedback about how to communicate most effectively, these discussions go very differently than they would at home.
Instead of escalating or disconnecting, couples are now working through issues with which they previously struggled. Eventually, the skills couples use in the couples counseling sessions become the skills they use at home.
As couples decrease negativity in their relationship—negativity is five times more powerful than positivity—couples eventually enhance their friendship and emotional intimacy. When there is less negativity in relationships, couples can focus on increasing their emotional intimacy.
Gottman Method Couples Counseling has a 70% success rate. Because Dr. Rein has improved the techniques of the Gottman Method, his success rate is likely higher.
The research on length of treatment for Gottman Method Couples Counseling is as follows:
- Relationship Enhancement: 5-10 sessions
- Severe Distress: 15-20 sessions
- Infidelity: 25+ sessions
Keep in mind these are only guidelines and include Dr. Gottman’s longer assessment period. The length of treatment for your relationship is impacted by your responsiveness to Dr. Rein’s feedback and the complexity of your issues.
Absolutely. Dr. Rein works with couples who are committed to each other. This is reflected by being exclusive with one another, living together, financial commitments, or having children together. Dr. Rein also works with pre-marital couples.
Definitely. 25% of couples in couples therapy present with infidelity, whether physical, emotional, or romantic. Dr. Rein helps these couples work through the crisis of infidelity, understand the underlying causes of the infidelity, and strengthen the relationship to significantly reduce the likelihood of infidelity reoccurring.
Every 2 weeks. Eventually, couples meet monthly or even less frequently. Couples in crisis may choose to meet weekly until the crisis subsides.
45 minutes. Gottman Method Couples Counseling are typically 75-90 minute sessions, but Dr. Rein found that the length of the sessions financially prevented some couples from working with him. Because the sessions concentrate on couples improving their interactions with their most difficult issues while receiving immediate feedback, the majority of couples find 45-minute sessions sufficient.
$250 per session. Credit cards, as well as medical flexible spending or health savings accounts, are accepted.
No. lnsurance companies pay to treat mental health disorders. When Dr. Rein is seeing a couple, he is not treating a mental health disorder. Instead, he is working to save, restore, or improve a relationship.
One of life’s greatest gifts is a happy, healthy, and loving relationship. Dr. Rein’s passion is to transform the lives of couples. He has a skill set very few therapists have. He is driven to impact as many couples as possible, in the shortest amount of time.