During our couples counseling session, Ann was asking for something, and Mark responded with “We’ll see.” Ann viscerally reacted to his statement but wasn’t clear...
Archive for tag: Language
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23.062021September 29, 2021
Intuitive Learning
When a young child is learning their native language, he or she eventually intuits the structure of language. Although the child will be taught the...
02.062021September 29, 2021
Guy Talk
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage CounselingTags Being Heard, Defensiveness, Language, Responses
Marianne has an issue with how Doug sometimes talks. He can be crude and occasionally offensive. He works in a prison where language can be...
14.042021April 1, 2021
Very Carefully
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Conflict, Escalation, Language
When Kate first emailed me to inquire about a scheduling a session, she wrote “Our marriage is only 4 years old and rapidly deteriorating. We...
06.112019September 5, 2019
Why Are You Rhetorical?
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Language
Jan just got back from a week-long conference and found Jeff in the garage. Jeff seemed aggravated and Jan said, “What’s the matter with you?”...
23.102019September 4, 2019
Possibility
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Language, Subtleties
I was talking with a couple about the importance of paying attention to the subtlety of language and the husband said, “I’m not skilled at...
02.012019December 13, 2018
I’ve Changed!
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Change, Communication, Language
Change is a crucial component of couples work. Couples counseling encourages partners to talk about what’s not working, so each person can change for the...
20.062018May 30, 2018
Words are Revealing
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Language, Past Tense, Present Tense
A husband noticed that his wife talked about their relationship in the past tense and this panicked him. He had a reason to be concerned....
23.022017January 17, 2017
I Appreciate
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Language, Respect
Being respectful is one of the most important concepts for couples to implement. When expressing oneself to a partner, it’s crucial that its done respectfully...
26.012017January 17, 2017
Couples Deserve To Succeed—Part 2
If a couple starts a conversation with a negative statement (a harsh startup), the likelihood of responding negatively (the second statement) is 94%. Therefore the...