In my book, Words That Keep Us Together, I combine Gottman’s groundbreaking research with my four decades of clinical experience treating couples. The principles of...
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Archive for tag: Escalation
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21.102026October 21, 2026
Words That Keep Us Together
With the release of my new book, Words That Keep Us Together, I plan to write a five-part blog series on its major principles. This...
14.102026September 24, 2026
Flashpoints
A couple I worked with began discussing challenging issues in their couples counseling. Every time a spouse made a comment likely to ignite an escalation,...
22.042026January 14, 2026
Keep Small Things Small
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Escalation, Parenting, Recurring Patterns
I was working with a couple in their early forties when the husband seemed annoyed that we were dealing with small issues in couples counseling....
14.012026January 14, 2026
Transformation
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Abuse, Escalation, Verbal Abuse
Jack and Danielle have been married for three decades and were in a bad place. Jack had been married twice before, and this was their...
03.122025November 6, 2025
Let’s Talk
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Individual Relationship Coaching, Marriage CounselingTags Combative, Disconnected, Escalation
When I asked Kevin and Doreen, a couple in their sixties, what a fight looked like if I were to observe it, Doreen said, “We...
29.102025September 10, 2025
Weaponize
If an individual threatens to end or leave a relationship, this often occurs in the heat of the moment, during an escalation. The threat destabilizes...
17.052023March 28, 2023
Old Habits Die Hard
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Escalation, Name-Calling, Steamrolling
Angelo and Melissa had a troubled relationship. By the time they started couples counseling, Melissa had moved out and started divorce proceedings. When they talked...
09.112022November 9, 2022
Learning from Conflict
When couples have conflict in between sessions, I want them to bring these interactions back to couples counseling. When successful couples have conflict, they can...
19.052021September 29, 2021
Reprocessing
Processing conflict is one of the most important skills successful couples develop. Since conflict in relationships is inevitable, discussing conflict allows individuals to learn what...