I hadn’t seen Tim and Maura for a while, but they talked about how much progress they were making. Then Tim brought up a time...
Archive for tag: Escalation
21.112018December 13, 2018
Flammable Conversations
Kent realized the grill was low on propane gas, so he brought the propane canister from the shed into the house and put in at...
08.082018December 4, 2018
Decelerating
A husband was asking me how his conversations with his wife could decelerate, once they begin to escalate. He described his conversations as driving 100...
07.032018May 30, 2018
Reacting to Reactivity
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Escalation, Reactivity
When Brendan finished talking about a situation at work, his wife Marianne started to share a story about the neighbors. Brendan was exhausted and talked...
14.022018May 30, 2018
Let me Finish
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Emotional Restraint, Escalation, Interrupting
When couples talk directly to each other in couples counseling, the ground rule is not to interrupt each other. When couples interrupt, they typically escalate....
11.102017April 25, 2018
Deliberate Practice
In my couples counseling practice, couples spend almost the entire session talking directly to each other, typically discussing the most difficult issues in their relationship....
20.042017January 17, 2017
Well, Maybe Not Every Relationship-Physical Aggressiveness
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Battering, Escalation, Infidelity, Intimidation, Physical Aggressiveness
Couples deserve to succeed, but there are certain types of relationships that are unlikely to be successful. These relationships involve: battering, active alcohol or drug...
30.032017January 17, 2017
Zero To One Hundred—Part 2
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Demands, Escalation, Withdrawal
Demands can also initiate escalation. Adults don’t like to be told what to do, how to do it, the right way to do it, or...
23.032017January 17, 2017
Zero To One Hundred—Part 1
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Attacks, Escalation, Withdrawal
Escalation often begins with an attack. Regardless of how strong someone’s self-esteem is, individuals don’t want to be attacked. When someone is attacked, the tendency...
16.032017January 17, 2017
The Power of Negativity
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Attacks, Disconnected, Escalation, Looping, Negativity
Research shows that negativity is twenty times more powerful than positivity. It’s hard to be positive and emotionally close with a partner when negativity and...