A couple, with whom I recently started, said they talked to each other with “careless disregard”. Their comments were sometimes snide and mean. We talked...
Archive for category: Couples Therapy
Let me Finish
When couples talk directly to each other in couples counseling, the ground rule is not to interrupt each other. When couples interrupt, they typically escalate....
I’d Rather be Happy than Right
“I’d rather be happy than right” is a quote from a husband of one of my couples. Being happy in a relationship beats winning. He’s...
Give the Gift that Keeps Giving
An area of contention for couples can be gift giving. Partners can have expectations for what they want for various holidays such as birthdays, anniversaries,...
Don’t Punish me With Your Silence
As I was watching an episode of Netflix’s series The Crown, the Prince of Edinborough said to his wife Queen Elizabeth, “Don’t punish me with...
Put Your Shoes Away
Differences can create conflict in relationships. The challenge is to distinguish between personality differences—which are unlikely to change—and behaviors, which are amenable to change. Personality...
That’s Gross!
David put his finger in a jar of peanut butter, licked the peanut butter off his finger, and proceeded to put his licked finger back...
We’re Incompatible
Occasionally a couple will come to couples counseling announcing they are incompatible. I find this rare. Couples will have differences. In fact, fifty percent of...
Sex & Aging
Sexual satisfaction increases with age. Two thirds of couples are still sexual in their sixties and one third of couples are still sexual into their...
Who Needs to Change
In a couples counseling session, Paul wants Meg to work on herself. Since Paul focuses on Meg changing and not himself, this is a form...