I hadn’t seen Mark and Ellie in a couple of months due to illness and scheduling issues. When I asked them how they were doing,...
Archive for category: Couples Therapy
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07.032018May 30, 2018
Reacting to Reactivity
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Escalation, Reactivity
When Brendan finished talking about a situation at work, his wife Marianne started to share a story about the neighbors. Brendan was exhausted and talked...
28.022018May 30, 2018
Overcoming Apathy
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Apathy, Disconnected, Listening
Because they were so disconnected, Laurie and Matt finally agreed to come to couples counseling. Laurie previously talked to Matt about her needs not being...
21.022018May 30, 2018
Mindful Communication
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Mindfulness, Respect
A couple, with whom I recently started, said they talked to each other with “careless disregard”. Their comments were sometimes snide and mean. We talked...
14.022018May 30, 2018
Let me Finish
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Emotional Restraint, Escalation, Interrupting
When couples talk directly to each other in couples counseling, the ground rule is not to interrupt each other. When couples interrupt, they typically escalate....
31.012018April 25, 2018
I’d Rather be Happy than Right
“I’d rather be happy than right” is a quote from a husband of one of my couples. Being happy in a relationship beats winning. He’s...
10.012018April 25, 2018
Give the Gift that Keeps Giving
An area of contention for couples can be gift giving. Partners can have expectations for what they want for various holidays such as birthdays, anniversaries,...
03.012018April 25, 2018
Don’t Punish me With Your Silence
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Silence
As I was watching an episode of Netflix’s series The Crown, the Prince of Edinborough said to his wife Queen Elizabeth, “Don’t punish me with...
20.122017April 25, 2018
Put Your Shoes Away
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Conflict, Differences
Differences can create conflict in relationships. The challenge is to distinguish between personality differences—which are unlikely to change—and behaviors, which are amenable to change. Personality...
13.122017April 25, 2018
That’s Gross!
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Conflict, Criticism
David put his finger in a jar of peanut butter, licked the peanut butter off his finger, and proceeded to put his licked finger back...