Successful couples know how to discuss issues without escalating. If they do escalate, they may be able to repair conflict as it’s occurring. If not,...
Archive for tag: Escalation
From My Couch to Yours
During the pandemic, a number of couples doubted the efficacy of telehealth. Some couples who I saw pre-pandemic chose not to continue until we could...
Learning From a Debacle
I hadn’t seen Tim and Maura for a while, but they talked about how much progress they were making. Then Tim brought up a time...
Flammable Conversations
Kent realized the grill was low on propane gas, so he brought the propane canister from the shed into the house and put in at...
Decelerating
A husband was asking me how his conversations with his wife could decelerate, once they begin to escalate. He described his conversations as driving 100...
Reacting to Reactivity
When Brendan finished talking about a situation at work, his wife Marianne started to share a story about the neighbors. Brendan was exhausted and talked...
Let me Finish
When couples talk directly to each other in couples counseling, the ground rule is not to interrupt each other. When couples interrupt, they typically escalate....
Deliberate Practice
In my couples counseling practice, couples spend almost the entire session talking directly to each other, typically discussing the most difficult issues in their relationship....
Well, Maybe Not Every Relationship-Physical Aggressiveness
Couples deserve to succeed, but there are certain types of relationships that are unlikely to be successful. These relationships involve: battering, active alcohol or drug...
Zero To One Hundred—Part 2
Demands can also initiate escalation. Adults don’t like to be told what to do, how to do it, the right way to do it, or...