Jack and Danielle have been married for three decades and were in a bad place. Jack had been married twice before, and this was their...
Archive for tag: Escalation
Let’s Talk
When I asked Kevin and Doreen, a couple in their sixties, what a fight looked like if I were to observe it, Doreen said, “We...
Weaponize
If an individual threatens to end or leave a relationship, this often occurs in the heat of the moment, during an escalation. The threat destabilizes...
Old Habits Die Hard
Angelo and Melissa had a troubled relationship. By the time they started couples counseling, Melissa had moved out and started divorce proceedings. When they talked...
Learning from Conflict
When couples have conflict in between sessions, I want them to bring these interactions back to couples counseling. When successful couples have conflict, they can...
Reprocessing
Processing conflict is one of the most important skills successful couples develop. Since conflict in relationships is inevitable, discussing conflict allows individuals to learn what...
Cascading
Cascading is when a couple quickly moves from one theme to another theme. The problem is that the conversation changes so quickly that the couple...
Very Carefully
When Kate first emailed me to inquire about a scheduling a session, she wrote “Our marriage is only 4 years old and rapidly deteriorating. We...
Clarity Creates Change
Frank went out to pick up some groceries, but Meredith didn’t know where he was. When he returned, Meredith expressed her upset feelings about not...
Essential Conversations
Successful couples know how to discuss issues without escalating. If they do escalate, they may be able to repair conflict as it’s occurring. If not,...