Successful couples know how to discuss issues without escalating. If they do escalate, they may be able to repair conflict as it’s occurring. If not, they can discuss the conflict at a later time, learning each of their roles in the conflict, and ultimately healing the altercation. This is what differentiates successful couples from struggling couples.
Since couples aren’t typically taught these skills, some couples figure it out on their own, but many don’t. Good couples counseling can teach couples these skills.