Escalation is a core problem in many relationships. If a person starts a conversation with a negative comment, the likelihood of a partner responding negatively...
Archive for category: Couples Therapy
We Need to Talk
Robert dreaded when Diane said, “We need to talk.” He knew the conversation was likely to escalate. She criticized him, he then defended himself, and...
Mars and Venus
The best selling hard-cover nonfiction book of all time is Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray, Ph.D. This reflects people’s...
Listen, Support, and Validate
Sue was emotional these days. Her father’s memory was beginning to fail him and she was feeling distressed. When she began to share her upset...
Liberace Glasses
Bruce and Cindy were vacationing in Palm Springs and walked into an eyeglass store. Bruce saw a pair of Maybach glasses for $14,000. He called...
Turn Here! Slow Down!
Driving is a classic topic in couples therapy since it evokes power and control issues. Commands such as “Turn here,” “Park here,” “Go this way”...
The Tarp
Cynthia was feeling stressed. Between work, kids and maintaining the home, there was never enough time. Her partner Ron sensed her strain and decided to...
The Commander
Justin and Michelle were going away for the weekend. Justin insisted on returning to a particular restaurant, saying “I am going to ….” I pointed...
Just Go On a Date
In my first session with couples, I ask them about their prior experiences with marriage counseling. I want to learn what was previously helpful and...
You’re Staring
Rob and Kaitlyn were pleased they addressed a trust issue since our last meeting. Rob told Kaitlyn that she was staring at one of his...