Escalation is a core problem in many relationships. If a person starts a conversation with a negative comment, the likelihood of a partner responding negatively...
Archive for category: Couples Therapy
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15.032016January 3, 2016
We Need to Talk
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship CounselingTags Criticism, Escalation, Processing
Robert dreaded when Diane said, “We need to talk.” He knew the conversation was likely to escalate. She criticized him, he then defended himself, and...
23.022016January 3, 2016
Mars and Venus
The best selling hard-cover nonfiction book of all time is Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray, Ph.D. This reflects people’s...
16.022016January 3, 2016
Listen, Support, and Validate
Sue was emotional these days. Her father’s memory was beginning to fail him and she was feeling distressed. When she began to share her upset...
09.022016January 3, 2016
Liberace Glasses
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Curious, Escalation, Self-Conscious
Bruce and Cindy were vacationing in Palm Springs and walked into an eyeglass store. Bruce saw a pair of Maybach glasses for $14,000. He called...
08.122015December 22, 2016
Turn Here! Slow Down!
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship CounselingTags Control, Driving, Fear, Power, Respect
Driving is a classic topic in couples therapy since it evokes power and control issues. Commands such as “Turn here,” “Park here,” “Go this way”...
01.122015January 3, 2016
The Tarp
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship CounselingTags Defensiveness, Escalation, Judgement
Cynthia was feeling stressed. Between work, kids and maintaining the home, there was never enough time. Her partner Ron sensed her strain and decided to...
24.112015January 3, 2016
The Commander
Justin and Michelle were going away for the weekend. Justin insisted on returning to a particular restaurant, saying “I am going to ….” I pointed...
03.112015January 3, 2016
Just Go On a Date
In my first session with couples, I ask them about their prior experiences with marriage counseling. I want to learn what was previously helpful and...
29.092015October 7, 2015
You’re Staring
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship CounselingTags Accusations, Communication, Defensiveness, Feedback, Indiscretions, Trust
Rob and Kaitlyn were pleased they addressed a trust issue since our last meeting. Rob told Kaitlyn that she was staring at one of his...