“I’d rather be happy than right” is a quote from a husband of one of my couples. Being happy in a relationship beats winning. He’s...
Archive for category: Couples Therapy
Give the Gift that Keeps Giving
An area of contention for couples can be gift giving. Partners can have expectations for what they want for various holidays such as birthdays, anniversaries,...
Don’t Punish me With Your Silence
As I was watching an episode of Netflix’s series The Crown, the Prince of Edinborough said to his wife Queen Elizabeth, “Don’t punish me with...
Put Your Shoes Away
Differences can create conflict in relationships. The challenge is to distinguish between personality differences—which are unlikely to change—and behaviors, which are amenable to change. Personality...
That’s Gross!
David put his finger in a jar of peanut butter, licked the peanut butter off his finger, and proceeded to put his licked finger back...
We’re Incompatible
Occasionally a couple will come to couples counseling announcing they are incompatible. I find this rare. Couples will have differences. In fact, fifty percent of...
Sex & Aging
Sexual satisfaction increases with age. Two thirds of couples are still sexual in their sixties and one third of couples are still sexual into their...
Who Needs to Change
In a couples counseling session, Paul wants Meg to work on herself. Since Paul focuses on Meg changing and not himself, this is a form...
Symbols
Without saying anything, Jim walked away from dinner with the family to watch the game. In our couples counseling session, Patty felt safe enough to...
I did. I didn’t
“I did.” or “I didn’t.” are often examples of defensiveness. If a partner says you did not do something and the response is “I did.”,...