Occasionally, I have couples who can’t talk directly to each other in couples counseling. Their patterns are so entrenched that they repeat the unhealthy dynamics...
28.012025January 13, 2025
Our Money
When couples discuss finances, individuals tend to react when a partner talks about “my” money rather than “our” money. Even when couples have the traditional...
21.012025January 13, 2025
Checking in is Partnership
John mowed the lawn, but Angela was upset with him. His actions impacted her plans for the day. She talked about the importance of John...
14.012025November 13, 2024
Don’t React, Respond
Rachel and Jake had been married for decades and began couples therapy when Rachel thought about leaving. Jake didn’t treat her well, and she was...
07.012025November 13, 2024
Gnawing
Sometimes, couples are unsure when to bring up an issue and when to let it go. A good guideline is to consider talking about something...
17.122024November 13, 2024
Shoulds Are Coulds
Shoulds are problematic in couples counseling. When someone thinks their partner should do or say something, it imposes an expectation on the partner. Shoulds have...
10.122024November 13, 2024
They Can’t Change
I started couples therapy with David and Elyse, and Elyse didn’t know if she wanted to continue the marriage. She found David controlling and said...
03.122024November 13, 2024
Rewiring Your Relationship
Chris and Angela started couples counseling in a very unhappy state. Chris was dealing with depression, and Angela judged his lack of involvement. Negative interactions...
19.112024November 4, 2024
The Form of Language
Cam and Laurie came to couples counseling, unclear if their marriage could survive. Now, they are having mostly respectful conversations and improving their support of...
12.112024November 4, 2024
Defaulting
In a couples counseling session, Kerri talked about scrolling on her phone because Daniel was watching TV. Daniel talked about watching TV because Kerri was...