Repairing Repairs

Repairs are one of the most difficult skills for couples to learn and implement. Repairs are when a conversation begins to go off track but the couple is able to prevent the dialogue from being derailed.

Don and Patrice are making great progress in their relationship. Historically, inconsequential comments would blow up. Don was taking pride in that he and Patrice were learning to repair conflict as it was occurring. But in our last session, he was upset that they weren’t successful recently.

He was upset at Patrice for not doing her part in repairing the conflict. He said she was being defensive. In fact, he was actually blaming her for not being able to repair the conflict. 

Don acknowledged that he was blaming Patrice and this awareness was enough to get them back on track. Consequently, they were able to repair the repair.