A couple, with whom I recently started, said they talked to each other with “careless disregard”. Their comments were sometimes snide and mean. We talked...
Archive for category: Relationship Counseling
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14.022018May 30, 2018
Let me Finish
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Emotional Restraint, Escalation, Interrupting
When couples talk directly to each other in couples counseling, the ground rule is not to interrupt each other. When couples interrupt, they typically escalate....
07.022018May 30, 2018
Internal Trust
When we think about trust in relationships, we usually think about fidelity. Fidelity means the boundaries of the relationship are intact, i.e., there is loyalty...
17.012018April 25, 2018
I Can Read Your Mind
Sometimes an individual expects a partner to know what he or she is thinking. This process is referred to as mind reading—I expect you to...
03.012018April 25, 2018
Don’t Punish me With Your Silence
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Silence
As I was watching an episode of Netflix’s series The Crown, the Prince of Edinborough said to his wife Queen Elizabeth, “Don’t punish me with...
20.122017April 25, 2018
Put Your Shoes Away
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Conflict, Differences
Differences can create conflict in relationships. The challenge is to distinguish between personality differences—which are unlikely to change—and behaviors, which are amenable to change. Personality...
13.122017April 25, 2018
That’s Gross!
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Conflict, Criticism
David put his finger in a jar of peanut butter, licked the peanut butter off his finger, and proceeded to put his licked finger back...
08.112017April 25, 2018
Who Needs to Change
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Changing, Encourage
In a couples counseling session, Paul wants Meg to work on herself. Since Paul focuses on Meg changing and not himself, this is a form...
01.112017April 25, 2018
Symbols
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Feedback, Priority, Responses, Symbols
Without saying anything, Jim walked away from dinner with the family to watch the game. In our couples counseling session, Patty felt safe enough to...
18.102017April 25, 2018
I did. I didn’t
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Defensiveness
“I did.” or “I didn’t.” are often examples of defensiveness. If a partner says you did not do something and the response is “I did.”,...