John’s parents divorced when he was a toddler and he immigrated from Cape Verde to the US as a teenager with his mother. His dad...
Archive for category: Relationship Counseling
You’re Controlling
Andrea and Don came to marriage counseling to work on their disconnection. As they talked about their disconnection, Andrea talked about feeling micro-managed and controlled, ...
You Don’t Fight Anymore
As Roberta and Dan were concluding their marriage counseling sessions, we were reviewing their progress. Roberta shared that their 8 year old son Conor recently...
What Do You Need?
I was recently reading the Gottman Institute’s newsletter Marriage Minute and the Gottmans’ shared a story about their relationship. Dr. Julie Gottman shared feeling upset...
Disengaged
The majority of couples in counseling have difficulty managing conflict, but discord doesn’t characterize every couple. Some couples are disengaged. Disconnected couples may avoid addressing...
Thirty Percent
I hadn’t seen Mark and Ellie in a couple of months due to illness and scheduling issues. When I asked them how they were doing,...
Reacting to Reactivity
When Brendan finished talking about a situation at work, his wife Marianne started to share a story about the neighbors. Brendan was exhausted and talked...
Overcoming Apathy
Because they were so disconnected, Laurie and Matt finally agreed to come to couples counseling. Laurie previously talked to Matt about her needs not being...
Mindful Communication
A couple, with whom I recently started, said they talked to each other with “careless disregard”. Their comments were sometimes snide and mean. We talked...
Let me Finish
When couples talk directly to each other in couples counseling, the ground rule is not to interrupt each other. When couples interrupt, they typically escalate....