The husband of a couple was questioning whether to continue his marriage. His wife was concerned that he was comparing their relationship to others. Her...
Archive for category: Marriage Counseling
Getting Close
I had been seeing Andrew and Katherine in couples counseling for a year and a half, and now they were coming to the end of...
Let’s Talk
When I asked Kevin and Doreen, a couple in their sixties, what a fight looked like if I were to observe it, Doreen said, “We...
Use Statements
When discussing relationship issues, it’s more effective to use statements than questions. Statements declare what an individual’s thoughts and feelings are on a particular topic,...
Express, Instead of Persuade
It’s important to express oneself rather than persuade your partner to your point of view. Persuasion is more like a debate, in which an individual...
Coaching Success
Virtually all professional athletes have coaches, whether in team or individual sports. Why can’t couples have the same? They can. Ultimately, a competent couples therapist...
You’re Speaking Loudly
Volume can be an issue in relationships. If someone is speaking softly, you might lean in to the conversation. If someone is speaking loudly, you...
I F’ed That Up
I read the latest book by Bill Belichick on leadership success. One of the more important aspects of success is being able to say, “I...
Different Conversations
I watched a movie last night that featured a couple with a lovely relationship. The husband’s son from a previous relationship spent the summer with...
I Didn’t Intend
When Dave says something inappropriate, he tends to respond, “I didn’t intend to hurt you.” For example, when Dave said to his wife, “You don’t...