“I’d rather be happy than right” is a quote from a husband of one of my couples. Being happy in a relationship beats winning. He’s...
Author archive for: drrein
I See it Differently
An individual expresses a perspective or memory, and their partner, says, “I disagree.” or even worse, “That’s not true.” These responses tends to be contentious,...
I Can Read Your Mind
Sometimes an individual expects a partner to know what he or she is thinking. This process is referred to as mind reading—I expect you to...
Give the Gift that Keeps Giving
An area of contention for couples can be gift giving. Partners can have expectations for what they want for various holidays such as birthdays, anniversaries,...
Don’t Punish me With Your Silence
As I was watching an episode of Netflix’s series The Crown, the Prince of Edinborough said to his wife Queen Elizabeth, “Don’t punish me with...
Put Your Shoes Away
Differences can create conflict in relationships. The challenge is to distinguish between personality differences—which are unlikely to change—and behaviors, which are amenable to change. Personality...
That’s Gross!
David put his finger in a jar of peanut butter, licked the peanut butter off his finger, and proceeded to put his licked finger back...
We’re Incompatible
Occasionally a couple will come to couples counseling announcing they are incompatible. I find this rare. Couples will have differences. In fact, fifty percent of...
Sex & Aging
Sexual satisfaction increases with age. Two thirds of couples are still sexual in their sixties and one third of couples are still sexual into their...
The Non-Sexual Epidemic
Sexual problems are more common than depression and anxiety combined. Fifty percent of married couples and sixty five percent of unmarried couples report having sexual...