Differences can create conflict in relationships. The challenge is to distinguish between personality differences—which are unlikely to change—and behaviors, which are amenable to change. Personality...
Author archive for: drrein
That’s Gross!
David put his finger in a jar of peanut butter, licked the peanut butter off his finger, and proceeded to put his licked finger back...
We’re Incompatible
Occasionally a couple will come to couples counseling announcing they are incompatible. I find this rare. Couples will have differences. In fact, fifty percent of...
Sex & Aging
Sexual satisfaction increases with age. Two thirds of couples are still sexual in their sixties and one third of couples are still sexual into their...
The Non-Sexual Epidemic
Sexual problems are more common than depression and anxiety combined. Fifty percent of married couples and sixty five percent of unmarried couples report having sexual...
Who Needs to Change
In a couples counseling session, Paul wants Meg to work on herself. Since Paul focuses on Meg changing and not himself, this is a form...
Symbols
Without saying anything, Jim walked away from dinner with the family to watch the game. In our couples counseling session, Patty felt safe enough to...
Sharing Vulerabilities
Steve & Sarah have disconnected over the years. Steve shared in our marriage counseling session that he was seeing a therapist individually for years. Sarah...
I did. I didn’t
“I did.” or “I didn’t.” are often examples of defensiveness. If a partner says you did not do something and the response is “I did.”,...
Deliberate Practice
In my couples counseling practice, couples spend almost the entire session talking directly to each other, typically discussing the most difficult issues in their relationship....