Matt recently retired; but began leaving the house, saying he was checking his Post Office box, but not returning for hours. Lisa wasn’t sure where he was but she knew that task didn’t take several hours. She suspected Matt was having an affair although she didn’t share her fears with Matt.

During one session Lisa finally raised her concerns; Matt was shocked to hear Lisa’s perception. He was typically shy around women and felt gratitude to be in a relationship with someone like Lisa, especially after his first failed marriage. Lisa wanted to know what was going on.

Matt said that after checking his mailbox, he would buy a coffee and read the paper in the car while listening to sports radio. Lisa asked why he was sometimes gone for several hours. He said it was based on how interesting the radio program was. With my help, Lisa was able to ask her questions without being accusatory and Matt could answer with the candor of the innocent. Their conversation unveiled the truth as opposed to the more typical accusatory and defensive escalation of suspected infidelity.

Lisa asked Matt the reason he didn’t previously share this. Matt said that he didn’t think she’d believe him. Lisa insisted on the truth moving forward, since it was his lack of full disclosure that set up her mistrust. They both learned more about how to address worrisome questions.