One of the most important contributions from Dr. John Gottman’s research is his concept of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These are the communication...
Archive for tag: Criticism
26.052016March 31, 2016
Thanks for Sharing
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Appreciation, Communication, Counseling Process, Criticism, Listening
Couples counseling is designed to create a safe environment for couples to be more emotionally open with each other. As couples feel safe to disclose...
05.052016March 29, 2016
Let Me Give You An Example
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Control, Criticism, Defensiveness, Escalation
It was Friday night and Dave and Amy were planning to go out to dinner with one year old Ava. Amy was commuting home from...
07.042016March 29, 2016
Can’t You See
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Criticism, Escalation
Elysia and Scott were sitting in the physician’s waiting room waiting for Elysia’s appointment. Elysia’s cell phone rang and she answered. Elysia kept the conversation...
15.032016January 3, 2016
We Need to Talk
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship CounselingTags Criticism, Escalation, Processing
Robert dreaded when Diane said, “We need to talk.” He knew the conversation was likely to escalate. She criticized him, he then defended himself, and...
19.012016January 3, 2016
Can’t you Take a Joke?
Tom was making a joke. When Judy responded negatively, he said, “Can’t you take a joke?” Instead, Judy found Tom’s “joke” insulting. A joke is...
05.012016January 3, 2016
Artillery and Bombs
Relationships can become battlefields. Criticism is launched horizontally. A partner intentionally or unintentionally attacks. When one is attacked, the recipient defends him or herself, and...
20.102015October 23, 2015
Critical Feedback
Steve didn’t like how his wife Kate was dealing with their teenage son in the morning. Tommy was reluctant to get up for school in...
22.092015October 7, 2015
What’s Wrong With You?
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Marriage CounselingTags Connecting, Criticism, Defensiveness, Emotional Support, Escalation
Tricia and Dave shared with me about a fight they had. Tricia was upset when she had a distressing argument with her brother. Dave could...
08.092015October 7, 2015
Goose Bumps
Judy is the wife of a couple with whom I’ve been working. When I asked her what she wanted to accomplish in couples therapy, her...