During a couples counseling session, Debbie told her husband Al, “You are depressed.” The problem with the statement is that it’s critical and analytic—she’s diagnosing...
Archive for tag: Criticism
You’re Too Tense
As her kids were getting older, Madeline decided to return to work outside the home. She started her own business and was having great success....
That’s Gross!
David put his finger in a jar of peanut butter, licked the peanut butter off his finger, and proceeded to put his licked finger back...
Couples Deserve To Succeed—Part 1
I watched my niece radiate as she and her husband-to-be were making their wedding vows. The groom talked about noticing my niece from the moment...
Constructive Criticism
There is no such thing as constructive criticism. In relationships criticism is actually destructive. If one is critical in a relationship, the individual is putting...
The Four Horsemen
One of the most important contributions from Dr. John Gottman’s research is his concept of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These are the communication...
Thanks for Sharing
Couples counseling is designed to create a safe environment for couples to be more emotionally open with each other. As couples feel safe to disclose...
Let Me Give You An Example
It was Friday night and Dave and Amy were planning to go out to dinner with one year old Ava. Amy was commuting home from...
Can’t You See
Elysia and Scott were sitting in the physician’s waiting room waiting for Elysia’s appointment. Elysia’s cell phone rang and she answered. Elysia kept the conversation...
We Need to Talk
Robert dreaded when Diane said, “We need to talk.” He knew the conversation was likely to escalate. She criticized him, he then defended himself, and...