When women want to address unfinished issues from the past, it’s not uncommon for husbands to say, “It’s in the past.” However, the comment is dismissive, as if the issue is no longer relevant because it occurred in the past. Past issues can be relevant if the theme or dynamic persists.

One husband in couples counseling was clever when he said, “You can’t erase the past, but you can rewrite it.” The statement acknowledged that the past can have an impact, but by working on the present issue or dynamic, you can change the future—very astute.