Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D. is the nation’s foremost leader in marital research and therapy. In the next series of blogs, I will share his research findings and his model —The Sound Relationship House. His approach is based on the science of what works for successful couples. As a Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist, his approach has had the most influence on my work.

Dr. Gottman built a Love Lab at the University of Washington, where he could observe couples in an apartment like setting. He had couples have 15 minute conversations with each other. What he found was that couples whose: hearts beat faster, blood flowed faster, bodies jiggled more and sweated more decreased in happiness over a three year period. The couples who were calm improved their relationship over a three year period.

This research reflects the importance of couples not escalating with each other and the value of calmness, whether a couple is talking about their day or about their relationship issues.