In our last couples counseling session, Sherry shared that she is still not getting her needs met, such as affection. She wants Dennis to ask what she needs, e.g., like a hug when she’s feeling depressed. She wants to spend quality time with him, such as watching a movie together. Sherry’s perception is that Dennis’ spending time with her is a chore.
This was so far from the truth for Dennis. I could sense he deeply loved his wife. Dennis told her that he loves to spend time with her. He enjoys the simple pleasures of time together, e.g., picking their daughter up together. He actually adored her.
But somehow his adoration was not being translated. He loved his wife, but Sherry wasn’t having this experience. Our work was for Sherry to continue talking about her needs and for Dennis to do a significantly better job of translating his love into words and deeds.