Shoulds are problematic in couples counseling. When someone thinks their partner should do or say something, it imposes an expectation on the partner. Shoulds have...
Archive for category: Couples Therapy
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03.122024November 13, 2024
Rewiring Your Relationship
Chris and Angela started couples counseling in a very unhappy state. Chris was dealing with depression, and Angela judged his lack of involvement. Negative interactions...
12.112024November 4, 2024
Defaulting
In a couples counseling session, Kerri talked about scrolling on her phone because Daniel was watching TV. Daniel talked about watching TV because Kerri was...
05.112024November 4, 2024
You Seem Off
Leah and Robert were on a road trip when Robert started slowing down on the highway, and Leah said, “What’s wrong with you?” Robert heard...
29.102024September 12, 2024
Resolve Doesn’t Mean You Agree
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Conflict, Finances, Right, Wrong
Claire was upset at Andy for moving money from one account to another without telling her. He said he thought he had told her, but...
22.102024September 12, 2024
Muscle Memory
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Language, Muscle Memory
In my couples counseling sessions, we focus a lot on language. Couples’ ability to work through issues depends on their communication skills. Couples counseling aims...
15.102024September 12, 2024
Rewiring
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Intimacy, Verbal Abuse
Heather came to couples counseling to either repair their relationship or end it. Her husband of thirty years, Jay, recently erupted and verbally attacked her,...
08.102024September 12, 2024
Integrity in Your Words
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Individual Relationship Coaching, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Conscientious, Integrity, Pain, Support, Uplift
I usually think of integrity as fidelity in a committed relationship. However, one of my clients discussed having “integrity in your words.” I liked the...
01.102024September 12, 2024
Us
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Conflict, Healthy Relationships, Partnership
The wife of a couple had a great description of what can happen in relationships. She said, “It is me versus you instead of us...
17.092024September 12, 2024
Imposed Perfectionism
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Criticism, Judgement, Perfectionism, Truth
Perfectionism is not a problem in itself. If someone holds high standards for themselves, that is their prerogative. However, if they impose those high standards...