Andrea and Mark have been married for four decades and report their relationship was sometimes “horrible.” Andrea resented being emotionally treated like a punching bag. She said they were in a pattern they could not break. Both felt resentment, and they withdrew from each other. She felt done and talked about separation and divorce.

Mark said he’s to blame. Andrea tells him that she feels bullied and mentally abused, which upsets him. She says she’s fearful of him. They argue about many topics, and Mark says he’s looking for tools.

In our fourth couples counseling session, Mark talked about learning to be calm despite facing challenges. Andrea is now able to listen to Mark and confides that she could be selfish. Andrea works on minimizing her negativity, and Mark tries to limit his sarcasm. They are acknowledging each other’s priorities. Mark gives feedback if a conversation veers off course. Andrea now trusts Mark and shares her experiences. They have been intimate, and life has been fun and exciting.

This change occurred after Andrea and Mark applied the concepts they learned in couples counseling. Andrea said, “This is the best thing we’ve ever done for ourselves.”