If a couple is seeking counseling, one essential quality to look for in a couple’s therapist is neutrality. That is, neither partner feels that the therapist is taking their side, and, even worse, the couple’s therapist and partner are ganging up on them. If either occurs, the couples counseling is unlikely to be successful.

The primary objective of couples counseling is to transform the couple’s relationship patterns and dynamics, not to assign blame. The focus is not on who is right or wrong but on the interactions between the partners that need to evolve for a healthier relationship.