While marriage counseling with Todd and Deb initially focused on Deb’s infidelity, they gradually widened the lens to work on their marriage. Deb spoke of her commitment to work and the inability to negotiate a work-life balance, negatively impacting her marriage.

Todd said, “I feel heard for the first time in our marriage.” Deb confided to Todd, “I didn’t prioritize you.”

In another marriage, conflict eroded their long-term relationship. As they improved their management of discord in couples counseling, the wife talked about feeling lonely in their marriage. She said, “I want to be seen and heard.” This is a familiar refrain in couples counseling, which aims to address the issues that get in the way of being seen and heard.