The husband of a couple was questioning whether to continue his marriage. His wife was concerned that he was comparing their relationship to others. Her...
Author archive for: drrein
Getting Close
I had been seeing Andrew and Katherine in couples counseling for a year and a half, and now they were coming to the end of...
Let’s Talk
When I asked Kevin and Doreen, a couple in their sixties, what a fight looked like if I were to observe it, Doreen said, “We...
Use Statements
When discussing relationship issues, it’s more effective to use statements than questions. Statements declare what an individual’s thoughts and feelings are on a particular topic,...
Express, Instead of Persuade
It’s important to express oneself rather than persuade your partner to your point of view. Persuasion is more like a debate, in which an individual...
Coaching Success
Virtually all professional athletes have coaches, whether in team or individual sports. Why can’t couples have the same? They can. Ultimately, a competent couples therapist...
Weaponize
If an individual threatens to end or leave a relationship, this often occurs in the heat of the moment, during an escalation. The threat destabilizes...
You’re Speaking Loudly
Volume can be an issue in relationships. If someone is speaking softly, you might lean in to the conversation. If someone is speaking loudly, you...
Hard Conversations
Successful couples can have hard conversations. These are the discussions that couples need to have to address issues and improve their relationship. The challenge is...
I F’ed That Up
I read the latest book by Bill Belichick on leadership success. One of the more important aspects of success is being able to say, “I...