Tom was making a joke. When Judy responded negatively, he said, “Can’t you take a joke?” Instead, Judy found Tom’s “joke” insulting. A joke is...
12.012016January 14, 2016
Attacking Vulnerabilities
John & Dana disconnected over the years. In our marriage counseling session, John shared that he was seeing a therapist individually for years. Dana was...
05.012016January 3, 2016
Artillery and Bombs
Relationships can become battlefields. Criticism is launched horizontally. A partner intentionally or unintentionally attacks. When one is attacked, the recipient defends him or herself, and...
15.122015May 31, 2016
What Can I Do?
Paul and Kim talked about how snarky they were being with each other the last couple of weeks. When I inquired what was going on,...
08.122015December 22, 2016
Turn Here! Slow Down!
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship CounselingTags Control, Driving, Fear, Power, Respect
Driving is a classic topic in couples therapy since it evokes power and control issues. Commands such as “Turn here,” “Park here,” “Go this way”...
01.122015January 3, 2016
The Tarp
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship CounselingTags Defensiveness, Escalation, Judgement
Cynthia was feeling stressed. Between work, kids and maintaining the home, there was never enough time. Her partner Ron sensed her strain and decided to...
24.112015January 3, 2016
The Commander
Justin and Michelle were going away for the weekend. Justin insisted on returning to a particular restaurant, saying “I am going to ….” I pointed...
17.112015January 3, 2016
Starting to Get It
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Listening, Present Tense, Responsiveness
Mary came to the first session by herself questioning whether to continue her relationship with Sean. She checked out of the marriage years ago. Sean...
10.112015January 3, 2016
Precious Moments
Sarah recently buried her husband. David was terminally ill for a number of years and Sarah felt fortunate to prepare for his death. They were...
03.112015January 3, 2016
Just Go On a Date
In my first session with couples, I ask them about their prior experiences with marriage counseling. I want to learn what was previously helpful and...