“You’re too sensitive!” or “You’re insensitive!” are both accusatory statements. The recipient is likely to react or withdraw. Every individual falls somewhere along the continuum...
12.092018October 25, 2022
I’m Not Going to Change
One of my couples began to squabble during a couples counseling session and the husband Matt said, “I’m not going to change.” Since couples counseling...
05.092018October 25, 2022
You Should
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship Counseling, UncategorizedTags Criticism, Judgement
“Shoulds” are problematic in relationships. They indicate that a partner should act or not act in a particular way. If a partner doesn’t act accordingly,...
29.082018December 4, 2018
You Know That
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Emotional Connection
Kevin and Shauna have been dating about 4 years and Shauna was wondering about the future of their relationship. Shauna, an art teacher, is emotional,...
22.082018December 4, 2018
You Have to Work at it
I was recently reading the book Barking Up the Wrong Tree, and came across a fascinating study. The research compared love marriages—couples that marry because...
15.082018December 4, 2018
No Filter
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Filtering, Respect
A client recently shared with me that when she’s with her husband, “I don’t want to filter what I say.” She wants to “be herself”...
08.082018October 25, 2022
Decelerating
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Relationship Counseling, UncategorizedTags Decelerate, Escalation
A husband was asking me how his conversations with his wife could decelerate, once they begin to escalate. He described his conversations as driving 100...
01.082018December 4, 2018
Connected Conversations
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Connecting, Emotional Connection, Responses
Kim was longing to feel emotionally connected to Sam again, so I was coaching Sam how to be more emotionally responsive to Kim. They were...
25.072018December 4, 2018
A Piece of Work
Ed’s mother was a piece of work. She was visiting from across the country and staying an extended period of time. She had a history...
18.072018December 4, 2018
What I Meant to Say
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Conversation Stoppers, Repeat Conversations
It’s not unusual for a couple to be talking about a previous conversation and a partner remembers the discussion differently. The tendency is for the...