In couples counseling, couples primarily talk directly to each other about their most difficult issues. I give them feedback along the way so they can communicate more effectively. A couple of months ago, I added an additional feature—having the couple discuss the session agenda.

I trust that couples know which topics they need to discuss to improve their relationship, whether it’s a recent incident or a recurring theme. Successful couples know what they need to talk about, discuss it respectfully and responsively, and work through most issues in their relationship. Couples practice these skills in couples counseling until they can accomplish this on their own.