Patrick shared in his last couples counseling session that all of their relationship problems were from him. He acknowledged that he didn’t filter his words and inappropriately expressed his anger. Although it’s unlikely that 100% of their couples issues were due to him, I admired his ability to take responsibility for his part of the marital discord.
He also nicely summarized the dynamic that I often see in struggling couples—the inability to filter words when expressing anger. Many couples don’t recognize the importance of filtering words. Left unrestrained, words hurt. Patrick was now getting this, and learning to express himself without creating a trail of hurt and regret.