Leah and Robert were on a road trip when Robert started slowing down on the highway, and Leah said, “What’s wrong with you?” Robert heard this as a criticism, and he reacted negatively. We processed this interaction in couples therapy, and Leah said she was concerned about Robert’s slowing down. She thought a health issue was affecting his driving.

This theme of Leah commenting and Robert reacting occurred across situations. Leah decided she would instead say, “You seem off.” This way, she could share her observations and convey her concerns without eliciting a negative reaction.