Looping is when a couple’s conversation goes in circles. It’s when a couple keeps repeating what they are saying over and over again. It typically occurs when individuals don’t feel heard and lock into their positions. Here’s some examples:

• “I always loved you and have expressed it.”
• “No you haven’t.”
• “Yes I have”
• “No you haven’t.”
• “Yes I have.”
• “You haven’t!”

It’s clear to see that this conversation isn’t going anywhere.

• “I did….”
• “No, you didn’t.”
• “Yes I did.”
• “No, you didn’t!”

Neither person is hearing each another. Both are locked into their positions of insisting their memory or perception is correct. Both partners are defending their positions. The circular nature of this conversation makes it nearly impossible to solve or resolve, and could lead to escalation.