In couples counseling, couples primarily talk directly to each other. However, sometimes, an individual wants to express something to their partner but doesn’t know how to do it without attacking or being defensive. This is when an individual turns to me for help.

If a person is aware that what they are planning to say is problematic, this is progress. The person shares what they want to say with me, and then I translate it so they express themselves without attacking or being defensive. I call this one-on-one conversation a sidebar in which I’m coaching individuals to be more effective with their partners.