Jack and Danielle have been married for three decades and were in a bad place. Jack had been married twice before, and this was their third stint in couples counseling. Jack said he wanted to improve his communication since he lost his sh*t during vacation.

Danielle wanted to repair the relationship or end it. She said Jack erupted and verbally attacked her to the point of verbal abuse. She says Jack’s words erode the relationship, and that they can’t discuss issues without verbal abuse. She finds him controlling and wants a voice and equality.

This couple’s outcome appeared inauspicious, but they made remarkable progress in a relatively short time. I provided Jack with clear guidance on how to succeed in his relationship, both through reading and through feedback in our couples counseling sessions. He needed to transform the words he used with Danielle.

He did just that. Danielle talked about the problematic interactions between our sessions, and I coached Jack to be more effective. I worked with them for five sessions, then spread the sessions out to ensure the changes were long-lasting. It’s not typical for a couple to dramatically change over a relatively brief period of time, but it’s possible.