Research shows that negativity is twenty times more powerful than positivity. It’s hard to be positive and emotionally close with a partner when negativity and possibly hostility pervade a relationship.

The challenge is to minimize and even attempt to eliminate the negativity. Once the negativity is significantly diminished, the couple can feel safe enough to work on their emotional connection and intimacy.

Negativity is primarily caused by escalation—when partners attack each other. Negativity can also be caused by looping, which is when a couple’s conversation goes in circles and doesn’t get resolved. When negativity pervades a relationship, the couple eventually disconnects.