Tom works long hours. When he gets home late at night, he’s exhausted, as is his wife Alicia. Alicia is managing their four kids— transporting kids to sports and helping with homework. Tom and Alicia are disconnected as a couple, and Tom’s eating alone at night highlights that.

Tom complained that there wasn’t a meal for him when he came home. He would grab the kids’ leftovers, sometimes hot dogs or hamburgers, and he wants to eat healthier foods. Because they weren’t able to talk about this successfully, Tom felt neglected and Alicia, uncomfortable with Tom’s unspoken anger, tended to avoid him.

In our couple’s session, Tom expressed his wish to have a healthy meal waiting for him—this would make him feel appreciated. With Tom expressing his desire rather than anger, Alicia was willing to leave a healthy plate of food in the refrigerator— even when she couldn’t sit with him because she was tending to the kids. The dinner plate came to symbolize thoughtfulness and care-taking.