A husband was asking me how his conversations with his wife could decelerate, once they begin to escalate. He described his conversations as driving 100...
08.082018October 25, 2022
Archive for tag: Escalation
Home » Escalation » Page 2
07.032018May 30, 2018
Reacting to Reactivity
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Escalation, Reactivity
When Brendan finished talking about a situation at work, his wife Marianne started to share a story about the neighbors. Brendan was exhausted and talked...
14.022018May 30, 2018
Let me Finish
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Emotional Restraint, Escalation, Interrupting
When couples talk directly to each other in couples counseling, the ground rule is not to interrupt each other. When couples interrupt, they typically escalate....
11.102017April 25, 2018
Deliberate Practice
In my couples counseling practice, couples spend almost the entire session talking directly to each other, typically discussing the most difficult issues in their relationship....
20.042017September 19, 2024
Well, Maybe Not Every Relationship-Physical Aggressiveness
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Battering, Escalation, Infidelity, Intimidation, Physical Aggressiveness
Couples deserve to succeed, but there are certain types of relationships that are unlikely to be successful. These relationships involve: battering, active alcohol or drug...
30.032017January 17, 2017
Zero To One Hundred—Part 2
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Demands, Escalation, Withdrawal
Demands can also initiate escalation. Adults don’t like to be told what to do, how to do it, the right way to do it, or...
23.032017January 17, 2017
Zero To One Hundred—Part 1
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Attacks, Escalation, Withdrawal
Escalation often begins with an attack. Regardless of how strong someone’s self-esteem is, individuals don’t want to be attacked. When someone is attacked, the tendency...
16.032017January 17, 2017
The Power of Negativity
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Attacks, Disconnected, Escalation, Looping, Negativity
Research shows that negativity is twenty times more powerful than positivity. It’s hard to be positive and emotionally close with a partner when negativity and...
09.032017January 17, 2017
Don’t Fight
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Differences, Escalation
Couples are always going to have differences. It’s the nature of relationships. Individuals have varying backgrounds, values, needs and desires. The problem is not that...
03.112016January 17, 2017
Looping
By Dr. Richard ReinIn Relationship CounselingTags Escalation, Expressing Love, Looping, Repeat Conversations
Escalation is the primary reason for relationship distress. It occurs when individuals attack their partner and partners attack back. However, there’s another process that’s problematic...