Tammy and Ben were making a lot of progress in couples counseling. They were addressing the disconnection that pervaded their relationship. Tammy talked about holding back with each other, being concerned about one another’s reaction. Ben talked about how it was now safer to be themselves.

This relationship deteriorated as they became afraid to share their thoughts and feelings. They could predict the conversations that would get off track and eventually shut down. They used the safety of the couples counseling sessions to practice being more vulnerable. Now they were beginning to take risks in between sessions. It was becoming safer to be themselves.