Mike would do anything for his wife Candace and could be quite accommodating, but he also had a subtle manner of getting his way, insisting he was right, or giving advice. Candace felt annoyed at Mike during these times, but she couldn’t get Mike to see his ways.

It was the fall and Mike wanted to take the house off the market for the winter and put the house back on the market in the spring. He said the realtor agreed with him, but the realtor called later in the week to say it was better to leave the house on the market during the winter.

Candace had a different perspective; she thought the realtor always wanted to keep the house on the market but Mike initially persuaded the realtor to take the house off the market. Candace wasn’t the only one who was on the receiving end of his persuasive style.

Mike had strong opinions at times and had subtle ways of imposing these opinions on others. Candace was tired of this dynamic and came to marriage counseling to see if it could change, especially since she was becoming quite unhappy in the relationship.

Mike wasn’t aware that he was doing this. When they talked about issues in the session, I could point out when he was unconsciously using persuasion to drive his point or get his way. On their own, Candace’s feedback was unsuccessful. In marriage counseling, Mike was open to examining how his communication style was negatively impacting Candace—he didn’t want her to be unhappy.