A client recently shared with me that when she’s with her husband, “I don’t want to filter what I say.” She wants to “be herself” and not work so hard when she’s with him.

My response was, ”If you don’t filter your words, you may not stay married.” Her unfiltered words explained the reason she was struggling with her marriage. She wanted to be direct with her husband, which was fine, but her words could be oft-putting. The husband shared that he was on guard around his wife. She didn’t want that.

Filtering one’s words differentiates successful couples from unsuccessful couples. Initially doing so is a lot of work. Eventually expressing respectful words can become automatic.