When I asked Kevin and Doreen, a couple in their sixties, what a fight looked like if I were to observe it, Doreen said, “We don’t argue; we just don’t talk.” This is more characteristic of older couples. Rather than fight, they now disconnect.

When they started discussing issues in our next session, their interactions could be combative. They had been avoiding issues for years and needed to learn how to address and resolve issues without escalating. Their goal was to talk, but without fighting or arguing.