Cindy is a collegiate coach. She works long hours, especially in season. She enjoys working with student athletes, motivating them to achieve. Her husband Ron resents the number of hours she works. Cindy says she needs to work these hours to be successful. Ron just misses his wife.

When they talk about this issue on their own, they typically escalate, so they brought this theme to couples counseling. Cindy reports that she finds it helpful to talk to Ron about work. She has few places to do so. She’s challenged by the multitude of personalities she deals with on a daily basis.

When she shares with Ron about work, he tends to problem solve. In our session, Cindy told Ron that she primarily needs him to listen and be supportive; she doesn’t need him to fix the situation. Cindy expressed this with strength and clarity—minus the more typical aggressiveness—and Ron finally heard her.

Cindy also expressed annoyance that Ron would call her during times he knew she was coaching her students.  Ron shared his feelings of neglect—wanting to feel he counted too. He shared that he was calling just to hear her voice.

Now it was Cindy’s turn to realize that she had missed something. She was touched that Ron wanted to connect. With that understanding, they were able to work out the logistics so they could touch base when she wasn’t directly coaching her students. She enjoyed the support and Ron felt appreciated and more involved.