Expectations can be detrimental to a relationship. They are typically imposed thoughts of how a partner should behave, such as “I expect you to….” Expectations create a hierarchical relationship in which an individual imposes standards of behavior on their partner, e.g., “Why do I always have to ask you to take out the garbage?”

It’s more effective to wish, desire, or hope a partner behaves in a particular way and express it, e.g., “I wish you would take out the garbage without my asking.” One can request that their partner do or say something without commanding that their partner meet an imposed standard.