Rick and Amy were having a dinner party with several other couples. Rick shared a story about meeting Amy and “pulling her out of the gutter.” Amy took offense at his comment and brought it up at our next couples counseling session.

Rick thought this was an amusing story, whereas Amy felt diminished by the story, and ultimately embarrassed. Rick didn’t have a clue of the story’s impact on Amy, but based on her feedback, committed to never sharing that narrative again.

When they met, Rick knew they were a young couple just trying to make it. He thought the story was entertaining until Amy told him otherwise. He said that meeting Amy was actually like “hitting the lottery”—which more accurately portrayed his true feelings.