Brett and Gina were living out of the area for many years, and Gina was very resentful about this. Now that they were back home, they were feeling disconnected, but this past unfinished issue was really getting in the way.

Brett and the family moved to another state for a job opportunity, but when that job went away after a year and a half, Brett used his network to land another job in the same state. Gina thought that living away from family was going to be short lived, and with the new job, the years away went on much longer than she expected.

In the counseling session, Brett shared how worried he was about supporting his family. He thought that he wouldn’t find a job back home that was as lucrative as the one that landed in his lap. He felt like a failure for losing the first job when the company was sold and wanted to spare Gina from the decision making. In his second job, he was experiencing significant work stress for years from which he was protecting Gina by not sharing it.

In our next session, Gina shared that she wants Brett to continue to be vulnerable. He acknowledged that he needs to share more —be a better version of himself. He felt like a failure not being in control. He wanted to spare her from the unpredictable or unforeseen, but that didn’t excuse his not sharing. Despite the unilateral decision making, hearing about Brett’s struggles brought them closer.